My husband and I went away for the weekend recently.
We’d basically discovered that over our eight years of marriage, we really hadn’t done this since we’d started our family.
Our children had had sleepovers before at grandparent’s houses, but we’d always stayed home and caught up on housework and hubby had generally worked. Or we’d attended a wedding a reception and left the kids at home with a baby sitter.
So, with baby number 5 on the way we knew time was running out to fit this in. So, off we went. The kids were dropped off at their grandparent’s house and we travelled on to a cottage near Bright in Victoria, around 2 hours away.
The cottage had no television and no mobile phone reception – the latter, had I known it, may have deterred me from booking it in the first place because it made us uncontactable except when we headed into town – and was very much off the grid.
Now, I have to say that it was very relaxing to be able to make spontaneous plans without having to pack and organise supplies for children and to attend Mass and actually hear the whole homily! But there was something that held me back from enjoying this weekend as much as I had hoped;
I missed the kids.
I know right, only two nights, I’m such a sook.
But I missed the little things like looking in on them when they’re asleep and cuddles during the day.
My husband however, couldn’t believe I missed them at all.
“I’d miss you before I missed them,” he said in his matter-of-fact way. And that’s the right way to be. We are supposed to love our spouses first, before our children.
“What do you miss about them?” he asked.
I thought about it and realised that it was because of my life as a stay at home mum that I missed my children. When your life is centred around the demands of small children you quickly accommodate their needs and your home life often revolves around their routines. You get used to cuddles at all times of the day because they need one, have hurt themselves or want you to read a book to them while they sit on your lap.
Yes, I missed my children, but perhaps more so because they are almost always with me. It was their constant presence that was missing from our weekend away.
“Perhaps you wouldn’t miss them as much if you worked full time.” My husband observed. But I couldn’t agree to that.
You see, if you’re like me you worry about your children, little and perhaps inconsequential things, like I hope they wear hats outside, remember to take their medicine and so on. When your mind is so full of these little things, and then you step back, it does take a little while to adjust.
So yes, I did have a lovely time away and even managed to read a whole novel without being interrupted by the demands of small children, but I was very happy to return home with my children as the weekend faded.
Because I know this is where I’m supposed to be. Yes, my break was nice and I do feel less stressed than when I left, but I’m home now and that almost feels even better.
Because once you’re a mum, you’re always a mum. And whilst my life is often chaotic, hectic and noisy, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Originally posted 2015-10-28 10:00:35.