When I was pregnant with our first baby our parish priest at the time brought around a relic of St Gerard Majella to our house.
Whilst he was very generous in lending us the relic so that we mighty prayerfully accompany our pregnancy it was what he said leading up to it that was somewhat uncomfortable; that the woman who had it before us had no need of it at present because she was not a mother.
You see, the relic had been at another couple’s home, friends of ours actually and they had just lost their first child through miscarriage. They were, understandably, heartbroken. And whilst she did not have a baby to hold at the end of her pregnancy, it didn’t sit right with me that she wasn’t a mother.
Because she was, and she is, and will forever be.
If life exists from the moment of conception then so does your maternity.
You are a mother forever, no matter the outcome of the pregnancy.
And it is the way we talk about mothers and maternity that needs to be reframed. Samantha wrote a beautiful post about the 12 Week Secret and her experience of pregnancy loss. And that is one way in which we can challenge the way we approach pregnancy.
But in a world that is not pro-life we can share a beautiful reality that may just help women experiencing pregnancy loss find hope in their grief. Perhaps they have been denied the opportunity to love their baby in a practical, day to day, way but they have not been denied the opportunity to love that baby taken to God’s lap – I know this might seem an odd expression but the image of our baby being held by our Father in Heaven in the all too familiar human expression of affection is poignant and beautiful.
If there’s one thing I’d like to say to every woman out there who has lost a child it’s this: Honey, you are a mother. You will always be a mother, even if you never experience the blessing of carrying a baby to full term. The only difference between your motherhood and mine is that whilst I carry my babies in my hands, you carry yours in your heart.
If someone asks you how many children you have, count all of them. If you have three pulling at you all day, but you’ve one in heaven too then you are a mother of four.
Embrace it; embrace all of your children within the depths of your heart.
You are a mother and a mother’s love knows no bounds.
Originally posted 2017-02-23 00:24:34.