Miss almost 5 will start school in a few weeks. She will turn 5 just 2 days after starting Kindergarten and whilst you may think that making the decision to send her to school as a young 5 year old was an easy decision, it hasn’t been and I still pray that we are making the right decision.
There are so many things to take into consideration; her social skills, maturity, academic acuity now as well as the prospect of her maturing through her school years and finishing school as a 17 year old. Then there’s her allergies, her life-threatening allergy to peanuts and the necessity to carry an EpiPen Junior.
Miss agonisingly close to 5 is excited, almost desperate to go to school and both hubby and I can see that she is ready for the challenge of school. She is clever – not in the same analytical way as our mildly autistic Master 6 – but in a more creative, and usually mischievous, way. She is friendly, outgoing and has no separation anxiety issues. She ticks all the boxes on the school provided criteria for Kindergarten and on her orientation, knowing our reservations, the school’s professional opinion was that there was more to be gained by sending her than keeping her home. And considering the age makeup of the children in her class (other early 2010 babies and the rest late 2009 babies) she’s going to travel through this small school with a group of kids close in age.
This is all positive.
But you see, though Miss 5 is glaringly obviously ready for school, I just don’t know that I’m ready for her to go. Yes, as she continues to tell me, I will still have 2 children at home this year and that she will be at home during the holidays and on weekends, but she’s my little girl and I’m protective of her.
I could keep her home with me for another 12 months and I offer this to her frequently. But, to my chagrin, she declines the offer. And to be realistic, she was getting bored at preschool by the year’s end and started undertaking a few mischievous things as a result. The prospect of having a bored, and consequently deliberately sneaky, 5 year old at home for the next twelve months is not appealing and I think it would be detrimental. But then, as I go shopping for school shoes and books and art smocks, I get a now familiar feeling of reluctance, whereas she’s exuberant and ecstatic.
My rational husband tells me that I’m overthinking it and he’s probably right but the truth is, in a little over 3 weeks I will drop her off at school and that will kick start a journey that will end when she emerges in 13 years as an almost adult.
So maybe the thing that really worries me is that school means she’s growing older, more independent and more self-sufficient. And soon, she won’t need me anymore.
Originally posted 2015-01-21 05:54:08.