One of the arguments of feminist revolutionaries championed by Germaine Greer was that gender conditioning was alive and well in our culture and that it was a form of sexual politics. In other words girls are conditioned to be feminine, to like pretty things, play with dolls and play house and other such ‘girly’ things. Boys, on the other hand were dressed in blue, played with trucks and cars, played outside and played aggressively. Straying to either side was unthinkable.

Gender conditioning then, was a way in which the patriarchal society we live in could continue to suppress women by telling them that normal feminine attributes were geared towards the home and family thereby shackling women to a life of domestic servitude whilst men could freely do whatever they liked.

I was not aware that anyone, aside from radical feminists such as Greer, who themselves have not actually raised children so as to prove their theory as accurate, actually took this idea seriously. It seemed to me that everyone – except for those like Greer – accepted that boys and girls were different, not just physically but in many other ways as well. And yet, then I was stunned to learn that a Canadian couple, who had just had their third child have refused to share their child’s gender with family and friends. They called their baby Storm and dress them in ambiguous clothing.

A Genderless Child?

A couple of years ago, when Storm was born, parents Kathy Witterick, 38, and David Stocker, 39, sent an email to friends and family announcing:  “We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now – a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place?)”

The couple believe they are striking a blow against gender stereotypes that start as soon as a bay is born. “When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is: ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’,” says Ms Witterick.

Her partner, Mr Stocker adds, “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs.”

Storm’s sex is known only to the couple, a close friend, their sons , Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, and the two midwives who delivered the baby.

One news report considered the couple to be ‘aggressively progressive’ and explained that “They believe in “unschooling”; a variation of home schooling in which a child is allowed to decide what he or she learns. The entire family sleeps on two mattresses pushed together on the floor and their young sons decide when to cut their hair and which clothes to wear each day.”

Additionally, “Jazz recently donned a pink dress, which he said he loved because it “really poofs out at the bottom” and “feels so nice”. He wears his hair long and his favourite colour is pink. Kio prefers purple. Most strangers assume that the boys are girls – but Jazz was recently shunned at a playground by two girls who said that they did not want to play with the “girl-boy”.”

Already there has been a large outcry to this decision with some labelling the couple as the world’s most PC parents while others are disgusted to see Storm used as some kind of ‘social experiment.’

However, Witterick and Stocker remain resolute and say it’s up to Storm to decide whether he or she lives as a boy or girl.

A Question Of Gender

So here’s the big question: are men and women really different or are we a product of gender conditioning?

Biologically speaking men and women are different. The genetic makeup of chromozones is widely shown to be different men have an XY composition whilst women have an XX composition. Once these chromosones have been established in the womb, the hormones oestrogen and testosterone come into effect.

The behaviour of females is influenced by oestrogen which results in a more nurturing  and grooming behavioural set. Males, on the other hand, whose behaviour is influenced by testosterone are geared to be aggressive and prone to fight. This is intrinsic in every person. Hormones are the scientific way of explaining the differences in the overall behaviour of men and women.

Child psychologist Michael Levine conducted an experiment to see how children react in a controlled environment being separated from their mother by a barrier. The boys tried to knock down the barrier by force whilst the girls were more passive, crying out for help.

So our chromozones and our hormones are different and drive us differently, but is that it?

Hardly. Apparently, though hardly surprisingly, male and female brains are wired differently. Professor Robert Nadeau, in his essay on this subject observes that: “The human brain, like the human body, is sexed, and differences in the sex-specific human brain condition a wide range of behaviors that we typically associate with maleness or femaleness.”

Men and women process information differently and also communicate differently because of differences in the brain – some areas are bigger or smaller, and in other instances men are using only one hemisphere of the brain to tackle a problem whereas women use both.

Of course differences in brains and the way in which the brain works  result in men being better at spatial awareness, geometry and mathematics whereas women tend to be better at reading and vocabulary and tend to be more vocal.

Physical activity and attributes are also affected by the differing brains and as a result, men possess greater physical strength and endurance.

Understanding Sexuality And Gender

As we can now appreciate, ‘Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others.’ (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2332)

Men and women are different and science backs that up as we have clearly seen. It is really important then, that ‘Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his sexual identity. Physical, moral, and spiritual difference and complementarity are oriented toward the goods of marriage and the flourishing of family life. The harmony of the couple and of society depends in part on the way in which the complementarity, needs, and mutual support between the sexes are lived out.’ (CCC 2333)

It is when we fail to recognise that our gender and sexuality are interlinked and are not determined by social conditioning but on naturally occurring differences between male and female, that we lose sight of our dignity and the beautiful complementarity of the sexes.

This dimension of our sexuality is beautifully expressed by Blessed Pope John Paul II in his Theology of the Body. And also contained in his work, is a real understanding of what it means to be male and female, as God chose us to be.

First of all, the fundamental truth is that God made us in his image and chose to make us male and female. He made us equal and complementary, so that we could be made one flesh through the intimate union of marriage.

It is through our coming together as male and female that we discover the real image of God. Therefore it is not just in our individuality that we are made in God’s image, but also in our union. As we become one body, one flesh, in marriage we reveal God’s image and likeness in a more complete way. We are one body made up of two parts, masculinity and femininity.

When we talk about masculinity and femininity in relation to the one body, or one flesh, we assign to each part a particular image. For masculinity it is the head, and femininity the heart.

The reason we do so is that in each of the sexes there is a primacy of either the head: representing a more analytical and rational based decision-making process, or the heart: representing a more emotional based decision-making process.

We were created male and female in the image of God. Children like Storm and his or her siblings are all created with a gender and sexuality that cannot be denied. We need to protect the beauty of sexuality – not just through the upholding of the Sacrament of Marriage, but also through defending the beauty and uniqueness of the sexes as God intended.

 

 

Originally posted 2014-02-11 22:42:43.