One of the most common myths surrounding Godparents is that they automatically become the guardian of their Godchildren should their parents pass away.
This is erroneous. The roles of guardians and Godparents are very different.
Godparents
If you have been asked to be a Godparent you are being entrusted with the responsibility for that person’s spiritual being. You are being asked to support the parents in educating this child in the faith, helping them to learn and practice the virtues and to live in unity with the Catholic Church.
Kimberley Hahn gives a fantastic example of what Godparents are required for, on her audio CD about faith in the family, where she recounts the situation of friends of hers who were devout Catholics and Godparents to a nephew. As an adult this nephew went away from the practice of the faith and invited them to attend his wedding which was not in the Catholic Church. When they returned their RSVP card they explained that they could not attend his wedding because they could not support a wedding that was outside of the Church and that they wanted more for him than just happiness; they wanted him to be holy. Not surprisingly this caused some hurt in the short term but will, with God’s grace, bear fruit in the long run.
If the parents of your Godchild happen to pass away it is your responsibility to see to their spiritual – not physical – needs. Your job is to get them to heaven.
Being a Godparent is a big responsibility. When deciding on Godparents for your children you need to consider:
- The spiritual practices of the Godparents – do they practice the faith, attend Mass regularly and make use of the Sacraments? Are they active in their parish or is their attendance just obligation or habit based?
- Their state of life and the example they give – do they live a Christian life or are they cohabitating, are they pro-life or pro-choice? And don’t think your children won’t notice. Choosing someone whose example is lacking in these areas is like saying to your kids that you can still be a good Catholic even if you flaunt the Church’s teachings
- Whether or not you think they will put your child’s faith first and foremost – if you doubt this you need to reconsider. Is your relationship with this person – even if they are family – more important that your child’s eternal life?
Between us, my husband and I have three Godchildren who receive a decade of the Rosary during our family prayer time as our spiritual children. So far our role has been a simple one but then, our Godchildren are still fairly young and are being raised in authentically Catholic homes.
Guardians
My husband and I have also been asked to be the guardians of another three children should anything happen to their parents. I can assure you that we were both surprised and humbled by the request and though we wholeheartedly accepted that responsibility we live in hope that these children will not be separated from their parents. Should this occur, however, hubby and I, as well as their maternal grandmother will be their legal guardians and it will be that they will reside with us.
Very early on in our marriage we chose guardians for our own family as well should anything happen to us. At this point in time, my husband’s parents are our choice but as we all age and circumstances change it may be that this changes because of unforseen events. Then, we’ll have to go through the whole process again.
If you haven’t organised guardians for your children if anything should happen to you I’d encourage you to do so. When deciding on guardians consider the following:
- The age and health of the guardians – sure, you may love your parents but if they’re not physically up to the challenge this could create more problems
- How you want your children raised – if you’re not there for the formative years of their childhood what sort of upbringing would you want for them and who can best provide this?
- The type of education you want for them – what sort of school and formation do you want for them?
- The practice of the faith – will your chosen guardians take your children to Mass every week and help them prepare for and make their Sacraments? Will they help them live out an authentic Catholic faith?
Deciding on guardians and Godparents for your children is daunting. But these are important and necessary conversations. You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone else, you need to be a parent and put your children’s physical and spiritual needs first. If that means that some one’s nose is out of joint, so be it. Pray about it, discern and do what it right not what you feel obligated to do.
Originally posted 2015-04-08 12:00:03.