“Why did Adam and Eve have to sin?” moans my eldest as a gastro bug takes hold in our house. “Then we wouldn’t have to get sick!”
He’s right of course, but it’s not exactly the most productive mindset when you’re suffering. Suffering is part and parcel of this life here on earth. None of us will escape its clutches. And so we march on, trying to ‘offer up’ our sufferings in union with that of Christ’s on the cross.
There would be few – dare I say none – among us who see our suffering as joyful. In our house feeling unwell is usually accompanied with feelings of miserable ‘woe is me’ emotions, a far cry from accepting our crosses joyfully. Perhaps those who are holier than us are just more predisposed to being joyful in suffering?
Saint Teresa of Calcutta argued against this vein of thought:
“Joy is not simply a matter of temperament in the service of God and souls; it is always hard – all the more reason why we should try to acquire it and make it grow in our hearts.”
And she should know. There has been much written about this contemporary saint and one experience of hers that always struck a chord with me personally was that she experienced a dark night of the senses for decades. For over 50 years she did not feel the presence of God or hear his voice and yet, remarkably, she continued on in her vocation and said yes to God with abandon and complete trust.
She did not let her feelings or her intense and persistent personal suffering dictate her actions. Instead she forged on, feeling herself cloaked in darkness and yet radiating God’s love with cheerfulness and joy.
I’m going to be brutally honest here – I’ve found joy incredibly elusive at times. Especially during the seasons of ante and postnatal depression that have tinted my view with an oppressive grey cloud that obstinately refused to let even the smallest ray of sunshine through.
Whilst I have not the spiritual acumen of Mother Teresa I know that my suffering is a part of God’s plan for me but that does not mean that I have accepted my cross joyfully, in fact, often I shoulder it with self-pity.
I am like Sarah Miles in Graham Greene’s novel The End of the Affair who firsts tells God to allow her suffer: “If I could suffer like you, I could heal like you.” For a time she feels some peace of soul and mind. But then, when she begins to suffer her prayer becomes: “Dear God, you know I want to want your pain, but I don’t want it now. Take it away for a while and give it me another time.”
Suffering is hard. Finding joy in it, even harder.
Saint Francis de Sales admonishes us that “A saint who is sad, is a sad saint” and we know this to be true. A sad saint does not bring Christ to others.
And yet, I know that I am a ‘sad saint’ to those around me, particularly my family. It is one thing to want to be joyful in suffering and another altogether to actually be joyful, especially when you don’t feel joyful.
Mother Teresa reminds us that:
“Jesus can take full possession of our soul only if it surrenders itself joyfully.”
Joy is a deliberate step towards holiness. It is the leaving of our spiritual infancy behind and resolving to grow in spiritual maturity. It is the acceptance that this growth can, and will, be painful.
Joy is something that must be actively cultivated, something we must plant and water and nurture. It is the deliberate choice to greet those around us with a smile, to choose to view the world in terms of others and not ourselves.
Joy is the act of going outside – exercising is always a mood booster – and taking the time to stop and smell the roses, to pick flowers with our children and learn from them the beauty of wondering in God’s creation and appreciating the small things in life.
Joy is imparting goodness and peace to others, helping the poor, visiting the old and infirm and passing on the love that has been given to us.
Joy is the peace that comes from regular Confession and time spent in the presence of God, burdens lifted to the one who will joyfully carry them for us, leaving only the burdens he wants us to carry. Joy is the giving of our lives wholly to God that we might be a window pane through which others see him and not us.
Joy is the mindset that even in the midst of our suffering, there is purpose in it and that I am advancing in my journey to become a saint.
Joy is the complete trust in God. Especially in our suffering. Yes, joy is hard.
Joy is incredibly hard.
But a joyful person brings the love and promise of life in Christ to the world around them. And in doing so they acquire true joy in their suffering. If we’re going to suffer anyway, well might as well try to find joy in it.
Originally posted 2020-02-22 01:58:24.