SpottyWot and DottyWot might be fictional characters on the ABC2 show ‘The WotWots’ but there are certainly similarities between the cute aliens and my four beautiful children. I kid you not. Of course, the characters are very much modelled on inquisitive children so you might say it’s not that much of a stretch to see elements of your children in them.
But recently I started to think a little more about the WotWots – I’m a sleep deprived mum so please don’t judge me! – and what siblings they might have had. What began as a bit of a laugh and a play with rhymes actually developed into a more humorous look at raising small children and the many facets of childhood phases and personalities.
I must warn you that as you read through the following list you will have no trouble at all in relating to what I describe and hopefully, be able to laugh at the wonderful world of children.
Without further ado then, here are my WotWots:
First of all there’s GrottyWot who has, once again, managed to stain and perhaps ruin a clean set of clothes. You are not even sure what the conglomeration of stains might have been before they merged and an overnight soaking might be the only solution, if there is one.
SnottyWot has caught another cold. At least you think it’s a new cold, they had been symptom free for the last few days, which is the most recent record of germ free activity in your house, but the nasal drip has made an unwelcome return and the majority of the tissues in your house now fill your kitchen bin.
PottyWot is struggling with toilet training. They are vaguely interested but at this point in time they’re wanting to sit on the potty after the wees and poos have been absorbed by the training pants. You’re determined to persevere but your patience is rapidly draining.
Meanwhile KnottyWot is once again in tears from her morning hair brushing. Her crop of curls manage to transform overnight from ringlets reminiscent of Shirley Temple to something more like a rat’s nest. She is not be confused with NottyWot your temperamental two year old who simply refuses to do anything you ask.
KnottyWot and NottyWot.Then there’s HottyWot who has a fever, and despite some Panadol kept you awake for half of the night. The other half of your designated sleep time was spent feeding CottyWot who is having a growth spurt and wants to be breastfeed every two hours.
GottyWot has thrown another tantrum in the middle of the shopping aisle because she has just got to have everything she sees. And WhattyWot has asked you approximately 374 questions this morning, most of them consisting a pointing motion and the words ‘What’s that?’
TottyWot has taken their first steps and is now tottering around your house, arms outstretched for balance, landing with a thud on their padded bottom every five or six steps. BottyWot needs another nappy change, and a new jumpsuit too by the look of things, and while you’re changing them JottyWot has found a pen you neglected to put up high enough and is creating masterpieces on your walls, cupboard doors and benches.
ForgottyWot has lost their favourite toy and thinks they may have accidentally put it in the bin which you have emptied into the wheelie bin because its collection day. You dive into the rubbish only to return empty handed inside, embarrassed to have been seen undertaking said reconnaissance mission by every neighbour in the street, and find the missing toy seated in the high chair.
By this point you’re exhausted and it’s not even 11am. It’s at least six hours until hubby returns home from work and not all of your WotWots have afternoon naps which begs the question, which WotWot are you?
The only conclusion I can come to is DottyWot the elder, because you’re so sleep deprived you can’t remember which side you breast fed from last time and you’ve washed the same load of clothes at least twice this morning. And that you’ve had enough time to read and relate to this article suggests that you’re not quite as intellectually stimulated as you used to be!
Originally posted 2014-04-16 22:44:20.