Stay patient with those kiddies of yours. Here’s why. Absolutely NOTHING good comes out of losing it. Sooner or later, whether we like it or not, we are going to have to calm ourselves down again.
I have to admit I wasn’t always this way. My temperament is Choleric/Sanguine. I love things to run smoothly and I certainly like to feel in control. We all know when it comes to young children, things are not down to black and white.
For example, as I snuggled into my bed the other night, my eyes were instantly drawn to these large ‘X’ letters in black pen drawn on the doona. WHAT? When did this even happen? I certainly did not see it! Almost instantly I had my suspects and without too much questioning found out that Miss 3 was the culprit. Trying ever so hard to remain calm, I asked her WHY she drew on my new bedsheets. “But Mummy (she replied ever so sweetly) I just needed to write the letter ‘X’.”
Nothing good comes out of losing it. 99% of the time, our children have not done an action intentionally to hurt us or make us mad. They have usually done something out of curiosity and not realised the consequences of their actions.
When we shout at them and lose our temper, a few things happen.
- Our children immediately resort to fear and often freeze up. Therefore, when we ask our child to tell us the truth of what happened, they may lie.
- They stop listening to you when you shout excessively or carry on. They are ‘listening’ but not really ‘hearing’ what you are saying. It is difficult for a child to see beyond your intense facial expressions and body language. They are focusing more on the fact that you are ‘losing it’, rather than the issue you are dealing with.
- We are instantly in a bad mood and everything seems exaggerated and more negative.
What we need to remember is that our child’s whole life is play, fun and imagination. Writing on the wall with a texta is their idea of decorating your house for you. Jumping in mud then leaving a trail with their gumboots is them imitating their favourite TV character, Peppa Pig!
Our children will only remain children for so long. Allow them to be little, allow them to have an imagination.
The next time you find that a ‘swimming pool’ for dolly was made from cups of toilet water, do try hard not to overreact!
Please share any tips below on strategies you use when you too feel like losing it!
Originally posted 2015-07-09 12:00:32.