Lately I have been feeling run off my feet with housework. Making, consuming and cleaning up after meals seems to take ages, and then there is laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, things such as the toilet, bathroom basin and kitchen floors which are all well overdue for a clean, and did I mention making, consuming and cleaning up after meals?? Due to our dietary requirements, this week I’ve made lacto-fermented tomato sauce, mayonnaise, a couple of loaves of sourdough, bone broth and hommus, all from scratch. These are all simple and easy to do but cumulatively have added to the ‘to do’ list. Then there are the library trips, various appointments, homeschool activity days, Auslan lessons and other social and not-so-social outings that while being of benefit and enjoyment, also limit the amount of time I have in a day to get housework done, and may require the extra task of packing lunch in advance.
Simultaneously, I also have kids who want my attention, who need help going to the toilet, who need me to resolve disputes over toys. I have a 4 year old who insists on interrogating me about what we’re having for dinner tomorrow, where we’re going next Tuesday or why he can’t come to my friend’s “mums only” afternoon tea on Saturday. He also wants to know answers to questions such as “Why do the angels love God?” and “Can busses drive through bog holes?” and expects intelligent, logical answers from me while I’m juggling the overcrowded contents of our fridge and trying to remember what I was looking for in the first place. I also have a 2 year old. Need I say more? The baby, still being in utero, contributes gently to the chaos with the occasional, cute wriggle or prod, and by making my hips stiff and my belly stick out awkwardly.
We’re all mums, we all know this struggle. So you probably also understand my deep craving to not only get through the necessary housework, but actually spend time with my kids. This week I’ve felt particularly hard hit with the chores, especially when I’ve had to work in the kitchen while they’re playing in the loungeroom where I can’t see them – it makes me feel cut off from them. But I’ve also noticed some ways in which I’ve felt more connected with the kids while I’ve been getting some of these things done.
- Work where the kids are playing
This week I discovered another reason I liked folding laundry: I can do it where the kids are playing. Because it’s an easy job, I can even watch what the kids are doing and talk to them while I fold. The same applies to hanging wet laundry on the clothes horse. Unfortunately I haven’t yet figured out what other tasks I can move to the loungeroom, but I am now on the lookout for them. - Bring the kids to me
As I mentioned before, I can’t see my kids when I’m in the kitchen and they’re playing in the loungeroom, which is where they usually play. Apart from feeling separated from them, it can be frustrating when disputes arise and I can’t see what has happened. But today we discovered that playing playdough at the dining table kept both kids happily entertained while I worked in the kitchen, and in a spot that I could still see them (“Mum! Look what I made!”) and talk to them while I worked. My 4 year old also spent some time sitting at the kitchen bench this afternoon drawing while hubby cooked dinner. So I’m also now on the lookout for activities for them in the dining area! - Involve the kids in the work I’m doing
This can be hard when the kids are young and can’t help out in a productive manner. But my 4 year old is getting pretty good at hanging up easy items of laundry. So now while I hang out laundry, he hangs out his and his sister’s socks and undies on his own clothes horse, and we race to see who can finish first! Once I’m done folding dry laundry, my 2 year old is keen to help put them away so I let her “help” and get my 4 year old in on it as well. Both the kids also love helping clear the table after meals – the 2 year old puts things on the kitchen bench as she’s not allowed in the kitchen, and the 4 year old puts things away when he can reach the spot they go in.
I’m still trying to figure out how to balance the housework with spending time with the kids. And obviously, doing housework with or next to the kids doesn’t replace just playing with them or reading to them. But this week has given me some new ideas for how to spend as much of my time with my kids as I can.
Do you have any more ideas? What have you found good for connecting with the kids when you’ve got things that have to get done?
Originally posted 2015-09-14 12:00:10.