We have recently been blessed with identical twin boys who are now 11 weeks old. That brings us to a total of five kids under five! Life is certainly busy and the house is perpetually noisy. The days go fleeting by filled with a lot of love, laughter, joy, and happiness but also accompanied by squabbling kids, screaming babies and exhausted parents! I have found that even though there are days where my husband and I are running on practically no sleep, I am happier then I have ever been! Here are a few tips on how you can get through your day:
Begin With Prayer:
Recently I have begun my day by thanking God for three things He has blessed me with. This helps me to start my day with gratitude, and in doing this, you are more likely to live out the morning cheerfully. I also try to aim for 15 minutes of reflective prayer each morning. This is simply a conversation with our Lord on my plan for the day, my joys or any concerns I am facing. Mother Theresa said that “Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.” Click here for tips on how to do some mental/ reflective prayer.
Keep Order:
Keeping order in the home is so important. I find that when the house is disorganized and messy, my head space also seems to follow. I am generally less focused and tend to lose my peace with the children. Order is a great virtue you can teach your children from a very young age.
- ‘Don’t put it down, put it away’, instead of throwing your jacket on the bed, hang it up straight away. Teach your children to do the same.
- Try not to leave any room of the house without doing a quick tidy.
- Teach your children to pack up their toys after playing with them. Avoid doing it yourself simply because it saves time. Once children learn to pack up on their own, it will be a lot quicker.
- Have a plan each day. Even if you don’t write a list, have some sort of idea of which jobs you plan to accomplish. Sometimes it is as simple as saying “I need to get that pile of laundry ironed’ before midday.
- Tidy before the hubby gets home. This is a good habit to practice with the kids. I like to remind them 15 minutes before dad comes home that all toys need to be packed up. They will usually have reading time while waiting for dad; this way the husband gets to walk into a house which is generally ordered and calm.
Keep Cheerfulness:
Let’s face it, some days can be more challenging than others. It could be dealing with cranky or sick kids, a messy house or simply being overwhelmed by life which is getting you flustered! Be assured, losing patience with your children is very normal! I’m sure even the great saints struggled at times. In the business of life we can certainly ‘lose it’ from time to time.
The important thing is that you click out of that bad mood as quickly as possible. Do it sooner rather than later! With practice, this gets easier. Often, it can be our pride that gets us down as we choose to remain sulky at the husband or kids. Turning on some music can often lighten the mood. Invoking your guardian angels and asking them for their help is also very effective!
Forgive Quickly:
Having just had twins, hubby and I are currently running on very little sleep. This means it is easier to lose our peace and patience. That’s okay! As long as you are constantly making that effort to stay on top of your mood and emotions. Forgiving one another quickly is such a good way to practice the virtue of humility. It is great and also very important for your children to hear you say “I’m sorry” to one another. Laugh together again as soon as possible. Don’t take things too seriously and try to keep the mood of the house light!
Practice Fortitude
If we practice fortitude in the little things, we can usually overcome those bigger trials of life more effectively. Temperance and fortitude are two great virtues which go hand in hand. If we are temperate in those little areas such as controlling our appetite, what we watch on TV, our moods etc, we will have fortitude when faced with bigger problems.
Total Self-giving
Total self-giving is the recipe for GREAT happiness!
As mothers, we are generally very giving of ourselves, I think God just made us this way! From time to time however, I do find myself getting selfish and just wishing I could stop serving the family and put myself first. Serving others in those small details is a beautiful thing. Mother Teresa said “we can do no great things, only small things with great love”.
I find that attaching a particular intention to something can be so helpful in getting through those moments when we feel like being selfish. For example, that never ending pile of laundry can be offered up for the holy souls in purgatory. Keeping up that cheerful manner with the children during the 6pm madness, can be done for family or friends going through a tough time.
As Saint Josemaria would say “Jesus, may I be last in everything…and first in love!”
Living Presence of God
How can you maintain the presence of God when life is so busy and the house is noisy? Even though externally there may be chaos, you can still have that interior recollection throughout the day. Try to pray many aspirations throughout the day; even simple ones such as “Jesus help me to stay patient” or “Blessed Mary, help me to treat my husband with a lot of affection”. Having this constant dialogue with God keeps us a little more on track in doing everything for the glory of God.
So yes! There are days when life is hard. Some day’s you may just feel like giving up, you may overwhelmed or just over it! Hold your head up high. Keep being that loving mother for your family. Serve them generously and unceasingly. They need your love and attention so very much.
I’m sure there will be many more moments when we will have to be strong and hold it together for the sake of our husband and children. With true self giving however, our heart will grow and learn to love even more! God will not be outdone in generosity and He will only ever give you what you are capable of handling.
Even if at times what you do as a mother may go unnoticed or unacknowledged by those around you. Remember you are still serving our Lord directly through your vocation of motherhood. A vocation which we have been blessed with!
We can sanctify so much of our lives, our every thought and action. What a beautiful gift we could present to Our Lord at the end of each day, if we have genuinely struggled and fought against those moments of impatience, pride and self-love!
Originally posted 2015-03-10 12:00:22.