Dear New Mother,
Congratulations and welcome to the world of creation. God has chosen to crown your marriage and allow you to share in His work of creation.
Of course, this is not something to be taken lightly. This small bundle of joy you delivered after hours of gruelling labour and pain you hardly thought you could tolerate, is going to be dependent on you, in some way, for decades yet.
For now, they need you to care for them intensively. You will be at their beck and call as they feed, sleep and grow. You will gradually learn the difference between their tired cries, hungry cries and pained cries. Your sleep will be interrupted for months and you will learn to survive despite your sleep deprivation. Liam Neeson said recently in regards to parenthood that ‘the days are long but the years are short’, and he is absolutely correct. These long days of devotion and care will not last forever and soon your child will embark upon the world, start school and grow less dependent on you.
You will get through the tough times when baby will not settle. You will feel helpless when you cannot decipher their cries but respite will come eventually. You will kiss goodbye sleep-ins though you must try to sleep, or at least rest while the baby does during the day. At least you can do this with only the baby at home, once you have toddlers or older children and a newborn at home, a rest, let alone sleep, is hard to come by.
At times you will miss the intellectual stimulation of work, the company of friends who work during the day when you are freer to catch up, and want to catch up at times that are not always ideal for mothers and their babies. Join a mothers group or visit with friends in similar stages of life who can meet when you are available, you’ll thank me for it later.
Persevere with breast feeding as long as you are able, and in a position, to do so. But don’t feel guilty for whichever way you decide to feed your baby. You know what is best for you and your baby and you should trust your own instincts and that goes for all aspects of motherhood. Some things work for some and others have less success. Never compare yourself to other mothers who appear to be having an easy time of motherhood, or appear more competent, things are not always what they seem.
You might be less than impressed with the gradual way in which your body recovers from pregnancy and childbirth but this is silly. You are beautiful this way, when your body bears witness to the life you brought into the world. Trying too hard to return to your pre-pregnancy shape and size can be unhealthy for you and your baby.
Ask for help. You might be a mother now, but that doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Accept all gifts of food and offers of assistance. Don’t refuse entry to guests because your house is a mess. Learn to practice humility, your visitors will understand if your house is a little untidy. Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed because you’re too proud to accept or ask for help. Your family and friends are willing and able and will not think any less of you.
Take time out for yourself as well as time with your husband. Yes, your baby is beautiful and dependant on you but you still need time to yourself in order to regain some sanity. Get hubby to mind the bub for a while in the evening so you can have a bath and read some chick lit. Get a friend to baby sit at a meal time so you and hubby can have lunch, brunch or dinner together.
Keep up whatever prayer you can fit into your day. Breastfeeding provides a great opportunity for prayer, spiritual reading and reflection. Considering how much feeding you will be required to do over the life of your baby, this is a great way to rack up hours with God.
Go for a walk. You might feel a little housebound to begin with but getting out in the fresh air is great for you and bub physically as well as being a great deterrent for any depressive feelings. Aim for half an hour, a couple of times a week, at whatever pace you can manage and enjoy the sunshine.
Delight in your child. Enjoy being a mother, but remember that although you love your child fiercely, your husband is still number one. God calls us to love our husband, then our children and in doing it this way we show our love for our children more by loving our husband.
Remember to thank God for His blessings and ask Him for help when needed.
And finally, just take one day at a time. Store up memories in your heart, just as Our Lady did, and treasure this time always.
God bless you!
Originally posted 2014-04-15 04:11:46.