Gossip is very much a part of our culture. Morning programs have regular segments dedicated to celebrity gossip marketed as ‘news’. Magazines such as ‘New Idea’ and ‘Woman’s Day’ make their money out of peddling gossip about celebrities and we, as a society can’t get enough.
We have shows such as ‘Gossip Girls’ that revel in gossip, the more scandalous the better and social media networks that make it very easy to obtain and spread gossip or rumours.
But it’s not just celebrities who are victims of gossip. In my latter years of high school, especially years 11 and 12 when underage and binge drinking really came to the forefront, Monday morning provided a fertile field for gossip. Travelling on the school bus, or in between classes, freshly acquired gossip was spread wildly. Stories of drunken escapades, fights, hook-ups, and other such information was distributed freely and to the detriment of those it was about.
So, what is gossip? Basically gossip is idle talk or rumour that is about the personal or private lives of other people. When we talk about the rumours we have heard about other people, or spread information about other people without any need to do so, this is all gossip.
Gossip Ruins Reputations
I read recently that a person’s good reputation is a most priceless possession. And if we consider that statement thoughtfully, it’s absolutely right. How much harder is it to go about our everyday lives when our reputation is in tatters?
I recall vividly the character of Heather in ‘American Beauty’ played by Mena Suvari who had the reputation of being the school slut. She allegedly slept around and was ‘easy’ and most of the girls did not like her. But the truth of the matter was that she was actually a virgin and had barely even kissed a guy but because her reputation had somehow been tarnished she played upon it, dressing scantily and making up stories of her conquests.
Gossiping destroys reputations. Even if what you are saying about other people is true, it is not your place to spread that information on to other people, even to your best friend or husband.
Gossip As Bullying
With girls, gossiping can become very sinister. Guys are aggressive when it comes to bullying, but we girls tend to be sneaky. We don’t like to openly confront anyone if we can help it. Instead we often use gossip as a way of making life difficult for girls we no longer like.
Perhaps the best example of this on film is the movie ‘Mean Girls’ where the consequences of gossiping and the spreading of false information or rumours is shown to be far reaching and very detrimental.
It is important to realise that this film also highlights exactly how gossiping can go from being purely gossip that has the potential to ruin other people’s reputations, and turn into deliberate and organised gossip that becomes a form of bullying.
Confused? Basically, girls use emotional or verbal bullying much more than physical bullying. One website describes this as emotional violence. Basically, gossiping becomes emotional violence or bullying when used by a group to deliberately and intentionally hurt other people psychologically.
Girls who bully other girls, like Regina in ‘Mean Girls’ for instance, will use such bullying tactics as: name calling, spreading rumours, whispering in front of other girls with the deliberate intention of making them feel left out, playing tricks or jokes, deliberately excluding other girls for no reason and encouraging other girls to follow their lead by excluding particular people or spreading rumours about them.
Gossip Is A Sin Against Charity
Basically gossiping is a sin against love. Spreading information, no matter how true, about other people’s personal and private lives is a venial sin because we fail to show care for others. Gossiping harms the person we are talking about, as well as ourselves.
Gossiping can also escalate and become a form of bullying and emotional violence. Sadly, gossiping is also something that we females have a tendency to resort to in our close relationships and something against which we will also have to be very vigilant.
So how do we go about avoiding gossiping? Excuse yourself from your circle of friends when they start gossiping and explain that you don’t want to be a part of any such conversation. Try really hard not to speak about others’ personal or private lives unless there is a need to. Encourage your friends and family to do the same.
Fasting Challenge: It’s a vice we love to hate. This week give up gossiping for 24 hours. Only 24 hours you say? Well, start there, and if you can continue on, good on you. Even if you don’t succeed this week, hopefully this challenge will help you to recognise what gossip is, when you’re doing it and how to stop yourself from falling into that trap.
Originally posted 2015-03-17 10:30:00.