Hospitality is a particular charism of our family. We take great pride in welcoming guests into our home and tending to their comfort. When you visit my family, the 3 year old and 5 year old will open the pantry and bring you food. They will offer you nappies in case you need them, even if you don’t have kids, and they’ll be sad when you leave. My 5 year old has even asked guests to move in with us!
Good hospitality can seem daunting and tiring to us mums with so much on our schedules. Here are some common reasons not to invite guests around and ways to fix them. Our family’s tips for great hospitality looks after the needs of both the guest and the host.
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Problem #1: I can’t manage to cook a nice meal for any guests. Solution: Don’t! Most people are happy with a hot drink and don’t need a meal to feel comfortable in your home. Keep a packet of biscuits in the pantry for guests. If you can, I think it’s worth purchasing a coffee plunger or moka pot if you haven’t already got one. While we’ve always got a supply of instant coffee as well, many people feel relieved when a host can offer them a real cup of coffee. If you’re not a big coffee drinker yourself, that’s okay! A packet of coffee grounds can be kept in the freezer for infrequent guests, and a moka pot can cost around $35 while you can pick up a coffee plunger for just $20. There are plenty of youtube videos on how to use them, and for something relatively inexpensive, it can add a wealth of comfort to many of your guests.
Problem #2: I don’t have the time to invite people over. Solution: Keep it short and sweet. Always plan an end time and communicate this politely to your guests. For me, there is usually a sweet spot in the morning after the kids are fed and dressed, but before the youngest one’s nap time, during which I can accommodate guests. When my guests and I are arranging the details, I always let them know ahead of time that I’ll need to get back to my errands/appointments/or even rest by a certain time. I find that guests are very happy to keep an eye on the clock and leave when my youngest takes her nap. For the guests who need a little extra encouraging to leave at this time, I’ll usually have a polite exit line prepared. “Thanks for coming, it was so lovely to see you but I’m really tired and I need to take a nap” I said to one friend recently as I still need a pregnancy nap during the day. As long as you say it politely people will receive it well. If you feel uncomfortable about politely asking someone to leave, just remember that you’re more likely to invite them around again if they don’t overstay when they do visit, so you’re doing them a favour by keeping to your prepared limits.
Problem #3: my house is too messy. Solution: Firstly, so is mine! When cleaning before a guest arrives, our family’s goal is decent and clean, not perfect and sterile. I don’t mind if guests come over with a few things out of place. In fact, many guests have expressed to me how this makes them feel comfortable and at home, and privileged to see our lives more authentically. They like to feel like they’re being welcomed into our candid family life for a few hours rather than passive observers at a museum. Most guests appreciate a clean place to sit, a clean mug to drink from, but other than that, don’t stress too much about the toys on the floor or the dishes in the sink. And never underestimate the magic that is shoving a bunch of mess into a cupboard, closing the door and walking away!
It’s important to remember that hospitality can be a great way to reach people’s hearts and even help bring them closer to Christ. When one of our old friends recently came back to the Catholic faith, we were privileged to hear that part of what brought him back was the time he spent in our home with our family. Those moments between cups of tea and coffee, amid untidy living rooms and rambunctious children, had stirred in his heart a longing for wholesome Catholic family living. God can use your family in this way too!
Hospitality is all about welcoming people into your home and family life. It’s about being attentive to their comfort, not putting on an elaborate show or serving a fancy meal. So if you’re not someone who has guests visit often, pick up the phone, call a friend, and don’t worry about the dishes in the sink! They’ll love you even more for it.
Originally posted 2020-12-02 11:33:16.