As I sit at the computer typing up this blog post a friend of mine lies is in a critical condition in hospital. To say the last few days have been hard is an understatement.
Novena prayer requests circulate through social media, holy hours are held overnight, Masses and Rosaries are offered, Adoration frequented by imploring souls.
We pray, barter, cajole and plead God for the healing and recovery of this friend. Don’t’ take her, we cry, we’re not ready to let her go.
But of course, let your will be done!
The latter sentiment falls flat. I am well aware that I am offering prayers of petition for my own will, because I don’t really want to accept that God’s will may be different. I’ve no doubt I’m not alone in more easily accepting God’s will when it aligns with my own.
What I should really be praying is more like: If it be your will God, please heal my friend. But if not, let her suffering be united with that of your Son’s on the cross.
And I really want to be able to pray that with sincerity. I do, but my emotions will not listen to reason.
We have all experienced the pain of prayers not being answered in the way that we want. Perhaps it was the family member whose healing we prayed for fervently, yet God called them home to Him anyway. Though perhaps there was some consolation found in our prayers for their happy death being answered sufficiently.
Perhaps it was the friend or colleague who experienced a traumatic event and whilst we prayed for an end to their suffering, it was either not forthcoming or, when it eventually came it was not a full recovery and they continued to face challenges and obstacles.
Perhaps it was the goal, desire, or dream we wanted so much that did not come to fruition despite our attentiveness to asking God for his help.
What we often fail to see is that it is precisely in these travails through the valley of tears that graces rain abundantly down on us. We’re too focused on the flood that we don’t see the rainbow.
Yes, my friend is incredibly unwell. Her family are labouring, with faith and trust in God it must be said, under the weight of her suffering.
And yet…
A prayer army has formed. The call to pray has been accepted and carried out. Hundreds, if not more, souls pray unceasingly, offer their own hardships and sufferings and spend time in contemplation with God for her sake.
Jesus’ company in the Eucharist is sought out, embraced, and the only comfort is found therein.
Yes, my friend is sick and suffering. And while we might be focused on those stark facts, the medical particulars and making sure we do not miss out on updates on her condition, her suffering is benefiting us in a tangible spiritual sense.
For how comforting it is to sit for an hour in Jesus’ presence and pour out the sadness and grief of your suffering soul and know that He truly understands. That your words not only resonate with Him but that He will gladly help you carry this cross, that He would do anything to help you. That He already has.
The waves of grief and sadness may catch us off guard and leave us gasping for air. But He conquered the waves, He walked upon them!
If we accept His will, hard as it may be, we can be certain that He will give us what we need to get through the challenges of this life. He will give us both the courage and strength to bear it. And He will bear it alongside us.
We may not know God’s ways, understand them, or appreciate them. But He knows us intimately and knows what is best for us. If we can learn to bend our own will to His, to accept His will even in the hardest of circumstances, we will find peace in the midst of the storm.
And so, my prayer becomes:
God, if it be your will, heal my friend and reunite her, fully recovered to her family. But if this is not your will, O God, grant us all the courage and strength to weather the storms ahead, the graces to grow in holiness through them, and the peace of heart and mind knowing that we are carrying out Your will.
Originally posted 2020-02-17 01:53:34.