We are currently on the final countdown for baby number 4. Having just hit 2 weeks until our due date we are all getting more excited and, dare I say it, impatient by the day.
From the 12 week mark we have always encouraged our children to participate in the new baby journey. They are the first people we tell, usually a day or two before we notify the extended clan, and they are usually in attendance with me when I see the obstetrician from that point onwards.
For young children, the remaining 28 weeks of pregnancy (or more if like me you’re prone to go overdue) is too long to contemplate but it is a valuable amount of time to gradually get them used to the idea that a new baby will be on their turf soon!
It’s always really interesting to see how your children respond to the news, especially as Mummy gets more and more obviously pregnant every day. My daughters, currently aged 3 and 2 though Miss 3 will turn 4 about the time the new baby arrives, also have ‘babies in their tummies’. Miss 3 was given a stroller for Christmas and she and Miss 2 have been busily playing mummies and babies since then.
They love to feel the baby moving and often talk to the baby. Miss 2 loves to come up and say ‘hello baby’ over and over again before gently, and not so gently, prodding baby to see if they’ll move!
Now however, our conversations have changed slightly, as the baby will be coming out of Mummy’s tummy soon, and our eldest children needed to change rooms so we could set up the nearest bedroom to ours as the nursery. Thankfully they found this very exciting and they love their ‘new’ room.
I encouraged them to help set up the nursery, which was little more than unpacking a few items from storage and hanging up a few pictures, and now they refer to that room as the baby’s room. We talk about how new babies need lots of sleep because they have a lot of growing to do and that babies cry a lot because that’s the only way they know how to talk to us. To be honest, aside from the initial novelty, our kids barely battered an eyelid when new babies came home. They can’t, after all, play so they are a little boring, though cute, for a while.
The excitement has slowly built as we’ve started ‘practice’ sleepovers at the grandparents in readiness for the ‘real’ thing when Mummy goes in to hospital. We’re also discussing changes to the seating arrangement in the car and this too is exciting as the eldest two children will now move into the very back seat of our 7 seater Ford Territory which is a very grown up thing evidently.
A family tradition of ours is for the children to give a present to the new baby, and for the baby to give the children a present, when they visit the hospital. These are usually very small and inexpensive presents like a jumpsuit or colouring in books. Each present is accompanied by a card that says something like: ‘Dear… thank you for being my big brother and sisters. Love from…’ and ‘Dear… welcome to our family. We are so excited to have you for our little brother/sister. Love from…’
The following is a list of tips and helpful hints that have been given to me over the last seven years or so. If you have any others please share them with us!
- Sit on the lounge occasionally holding a baby doll as you would a newborn. Apparently this visual cue is very helpful for toddlers to adjust to Mummy holding some one else
- Play ‘baby’ with your toddler. Dress, pretend bath or feed a baby doll, in much the same way as little girls often role play but do it together
- Read books about babies. Some good ones include: ‘There’s a house inside my Mummy’ by Giles Andrae which deals with the pregnancy process; ‘Silly Baby’ which deals with an older sibling adjusting to the arrival of new baby. There are many more!
- Try to visit or catch up with family and friends who have babies and encourage your children to have a look or a cuddle.
- Show your children photographs of them as babies and talk about the sorts of things they did when they were little.
- When your newborn arrives make sure you are not breastfeeding the first time your toddler comes to visit, this intimacy at first glance can be unnerving for the toddler and provoke feelings of jealousy. Welcome the toddler to your room and introduce them to the new baby. After that initial welcome you should have no dramas regarding breastfeeding.
- Sit your toddler next to you when breastfeeding so they can feel close to you too.
- Involve your toddler with baby things when you return home from the hospital. Ask them to pass you the powder etc and they will feel as though they have a special responsibility when it comes to looking after baby.
Originally posted 2014-02-04 02:39:54.