Life feels like it has been more hectic than ever lately, since our third baby was born last year. He’s not been a great sleeper, which makes days relentlessly busy and nights don’t always provide enough rest to adequately recharge for the next day. Part of me can’t wait for him to grow out of this stage, so I can feel at least a little less exhausted. But another part of me doesn’t want him to grow out of this stage, with the cheeky smiles, the determined almost-crawling, the adorable babbling and the breastfeeding snuggles.
I’ve come to a conclusion: Every age and stage has its joys and its challenges and these are unique to each stage. There is no easy stage. The stage I’m in now may seem hard, but any other stage will have challenges too, they will just be different ones. And with the challenges, come particular, immense joys.
When all the kids are little, life is frantic. They have limited ability to contribute productively to the running of the household, so most of this falls to Mum and Dad. The youngest ones can’t do everything independently, so toileting, feeding and mobilising are all hands on events. They’re too young to be left at home alone, so even minor outings include the entourage of small children and can take half the day.
But while older children can help out and look after themselves, they just can’t beat the babies and toddlers for cuteness and hilarious antics which just warm your heart. Those gorgeous grins, comic wardrobe malfunctions and toddler-logic quips you just have to record to pull out at their 21st.
As they get older, life might get a little easier, practically speaking. They become more capable and can productively contribute to the running of the household. Even having a trustworthy set of hands to go get the baby who has awoken from their nap, or help fold laundry can make a difference. But at the same time, they are now attaining the age of reason, they become culpable for their sins. Sibling disputes are more psychologically complex than the days of “he snatched it off me so I screamed”. And yet there are many pride-filling moments when you see them learn and understand more mature matters, receive their sacraments and start to display particular skills and talents.
This is amplified as they become teenagers and young adults. They eventually reach a stage where they get to decide if they accept the faith. They can reject it or they may embrace it. They become more independant and can meet up with friends of their choosing without your supervision, whether this is for their benefit or detriment. Seeing them make bad choices for themselves can be disheartening and stressful and you may find yourself wishing they were gorgeous, innocent 3 year olds again, whose lives you have more control over. On the flip side, as they mature they can also begin to contribute to the church and society in remarkable and moving ways that fill you with pride.
While exhaustion is my greatest challenge now, something else will likely be an equal but different challenge in the future when my children are less exhausting. For now all there is to be done is lap up the joys of my beautiful children, thank God for them, offer up the hardships that they may help us attain heaven and “just keep swimming…”
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For those who know me, I wrote most of this post over a year ago. Now my baby is older and weaned, I am a bit less exhausted so able to finish this post and publish it!
Photo credit: “Inferis” https://www.flickr.com/photos/inferis/112448305/
Originally posted 2018-04-25 15:00:43.