Channelling Charity

 

If you ask someone what they love about parenting, they’re not exactly going to say: the sleepless nights, constant demands and lack of down time.

Being a parent is hard, difficult and fraught with challenges and yet, for many of us, this vocation, coupled with marriage, is our path to sanctity.

Yes, that was sanctity and not sanity. Because, obviously, as a parent you willingly forgo the latter.

Reality of parenting

Children may well be the crown of your marriage, but having them presents many challenges.

Only recently I was chatting to another expectant mother, she has five children and I have four, about the demands of early pregnancy with its extreme fatigue and nausea, coupled with the day to day reality of small dependent children in your care.

“I have to keep reminding myself,” said this lovely mum, “that God never gives us more than we can handle.”

It’s a comforting thought.

But as our conversation continued I discovered a gem of parenting that has only taken my seven years, and four children, to understand.

Daily opportunities for charity

I can tell you that there are some days when making toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner is way too enticing.

And times, when running next to empty after spending a night up with a sick or teething child, that housework and quality family time requires a concerted effort.

Packing lunches and preparing family meals, washing, ironing, cleaning and tidying up are hardly appealing when you’re so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open.

I would be forgiven, on these days, to let some chores slide. And I could justify it to myself and hubby would understand.

On the other hand, I could exercise charity and carry out these tasks, despite my fatigue, out of love for my family.

Instead of bemoaning the two hours sleep I got last night and spending a lazy day at home putting off all of the necessary chores I just can’t be bothered doing, I can channel my energies into putting my love in action, putting the needs of others ahead of my own and get these chores done.

Mothers can be martyrs

The other day, out of the blue, my husband thanked me for being a martyr. At first I thought he was teasing me in something like the expression ‘don’t be a martyr’. I asked him to explain.

“Well,” he said, “you give up your day, every day to be here for us.”

I hadn’t really thought about it like that, but, as mothers our time is obviously not our own. We make deliberate choices to be there for our family and we give up luxuries and personal interests to raise and nurture our children.

I could make a list of all the things we mothers give up, but I’m pretty sure we’re all on the same page here. We give up ourselves in order to give ourselves more fully to our families and to God.

And what is being a martyr but putting your love in action? Perhaps we are not called to physical martyrdom, but we are daily called to live a selfless life, and in amidst the chaos and busyness of raising a family we are exposed to a plethora of opportunities to exercise the virtue of charity.

I don’t know about you, but reflecting on this made me really thankful to have been given this vocation.

 

Originally posted 2015-10-08 03:22:27.