Single mothers I take my hat off to you. I don’t know how you manage, though I know you must, to raise children on your own. I mean, I’ve spent the last couple of weeks feeling a bit like a single mother because my hubby has been working long hours, 6 days a week, and I’m almost out of my tree!
Ok, so I know that there are extenuating circumstances in our case. My husband manages the local branch of an agricultural supply company and with all the rain so far this year, farmers are busy and busy farmers need plenty of supplies. In addition to this I know that its stocktake time and that the end of financial year is almost upon us and that one of his employees recently resigned. Short story: he’s busy.
So lately our routine has changed. He used to bath the eldest three kids after dinner while I made lunches for the following day, cleared up and did the dishes and then feed the baby. Now I bath them before dinner, pushing the time we eat back by almost half an hour to make it easier for hubby to get home in time to eat with us.
Then he started arriving home later, as we were finishing dinner and as our kids go to bed almost straight after dinner now they would see him for maybe half an hour, which is about the same amount of time they see him in the morning before he leaves for work.
Then, of course, he started leaving for work early, before the rest of the family were out of bed which meant that the stressful morning routine was all mine (insert sarcastic hooray here!). And now, as we expected, the time he gets home from work is getting later too and some days the kids don’t see him at all. And there are repercussions. They miss Dad so they act out at mum.
And that had me thinking about single mums because frankly if that was me I’d be a stressed out grumpy mess – there’s no way I’d be a candidate for mother of the year, not that I am now anyway – and I think I’d be doing more harm than good. I’ve always parented as part of a team and the idea of not having hubby there to help me to be consistent in our discipline, or to throw ideas around with, or even just to vent about the latest domestic saga; I’d go insane.
I know you think I’m joking about the last part, but I’m sure I would! Ever since I read ‘A Mother’s Rule of Life’ by Holly Pierpot I have insisted on a Mummy’s day/afternoon/30minutes out. I need that time away from the kids and the hubby to recharge the batteries and calm my frazzled state. From the content of this post you might have guessed that I haven’t had that time in a little while. But you see, as stressed and frenetic as I might be now I know that come July things will settle down again. Hubby will be here for breakfast and dinner and he’ll go back to working the occasional half day on Saturday. His hours will come back to more like 40 instead of the 60+ he’s doing now and life will be better for all.
And this is why I’m currently in awe of single mums, because you don’t get that break! You make the tough choices on your own. Let me just say that I think you are doing an amazing job and are much maligned by society. However you became a single mum is irrelevant in my book, if you have the guts to raise your child/ren on your own then I salute you and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers for ever!
Originally posted 2014-06-26 10:00:41.